I Want to Know More...

Today we did more packing- I want to finish my room but the boxes are preventing that. Some how I ended up helping dad pack his office. I had packed up a good bit of his books before BTI but he had me leave out some assembly minutes and other church books and stuff that he uses to study. We reboxed all of dads old White Wing Messager/ Happy Harvester/ Joyful News they stunk but dad says it adds to there oldness *rolls eyes*. I found some of mom's papers she wrote for collage (TC) but I found something I didn't know dad had binders of old documents, old assembly minutes, and a few other things that an overseer gave to him. I wanted to curl up in the chair and read them all. Now thats not normal for me. Over a year ago you probably wouldn't have been able to get me to sit for 3 days and listen to the presyberty meeting, or get me to read anything that wasn't fiction. In the last 10 months though something has shifted. Sitting and reading a Church published book still isn't the first thing I would chose to do but the desire to know more, to understand has been a good drive to get me to study and read more. I didn't realize how much I didn't know until I listened to the meeting- I had to ask question because I didnt understand something they said and I would ask and it seemed like such a simple answer and I didn't know.

Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
(2 Timothy 2:15)

I hate being with out a job- I hate all of the free time I have on my hand half the time but I love the time I have to study, the time I've had to read my Bible and the abudance of time to pray. Sadly alot of dad's church books that I would really like to read have been packed up for several months and I havent really been able to but I havent let that stop me. I'm almost finished with my BTI coraspandance courses that I spent way to long putting off. I want to dig deeper then ever before.... I want to know more... *hums* I want to Know more about my Jesus.... I want to know more then I know now...*ends humming * heehee

I feel that I've grown so much closer to the Lord in the last few months then I have been in a long time. I know I am not where I need to be yet but Im willing... I want God to conintue to lead and guide my life... I want Him to conintue to heal the hurts and strengthen me; make me into the women of God He desires me to be. The feeling of always coming up short is a mind attack of the Devil one I am done listening to... I remember once we were in a gas station and I had on a WWJD shirt on and this older tatoo covered man came up to me and said "you know what your shirt says backwards" I was slightly freaked out by him and wispered no and he said " Devil Just Wont Win"...I wonder if the freaky tatoo guy really knew what he said- if I do what Jesus wants me to do and I follow His will then the Devil Just Won't Win in my life.

I have dediced to join Grayson and Jared to spend the next 25 days in prayer and fasting. I had decided before reading on Gray's blog that I was going to do this but it seems that God has laid it on our hearts to do this and ya'll are welcome to join us. I want to get everything I need from the Lord now. I dont want to wait till the assembly and be at that alter praying for myself because I need a spiritual refreshing from the Lord. I want to arrive refreshed and that way during those 6 days my mind and heart won't be on what I need but what the church needs. So as a women in the church I can sit amongest our male members praying for them, praying that God will lead and guide them in the business. I believe it was Gracie that I told that I felt that we are about to see a move of the Lord that we've never seen before, that we can't begin to imagin. 25 days- well 24 considering today is almost over-till the assembly I am excited...

Wow I didn't mean to go on like that- I started off just wanting to tell you guys about the stuff I had found in dads office- the reason for the title had to do with having that song in my head...maybe I should pack more often- though working it gives alot of time to think :-D

Btw- I am in the process of changing my blog- Im just using a testing blog I created to try out what I am working on and that way I dont take a chance of messing this one up... so it should be changed soon :o) I've got to really like this next one because who knows how long it will have to stay that way- I can't imagine going with out the internet but I don't know how long it will take once up there to get internet service or what kind *praying* please Lord no dial up please Lord no dial up :O)