Have A Look ...

I'm going to stop saying I'm not going to change my blog because it never happens and I don't want to lie. Jared thinks I have a problem and I probably do- haha- either that or he's just tired of me asking him look at all of my possibilities. Which Jared thank you so much for putting up with my OCD problem haha.

Ok to explain the new look and title. I've always heard it said that a pastor's family lives in a fish bowl. Dad has been pastoring all my life if not longer. His first church was in Janesville, WI- He pastored the Lewis' when they were all teenagers (btw- I haven't heard- has Cathy had her baby? I don't remember when she was due) but anyway so I grew up a PK. I never understood why people said we lived in a fish bowl until my dad became a Bishop and by that I was older (I think I was 11). I learned that everything I did reflected on him and how he raised me. Which has never really been an issue and I do think he and mom did a pretty fine job at raising us *winks* It was at this time I realized that there will always be people that will find something wrong, find something to pick apart, and find something to put their noses in where it doesn't belong. Did I just say that ;)

I learned quickly not to get offended when something I did or didn't do did not please someone. I learned the importance of discretion - when to bite my tongue and when it was okay to speak. I also learned that some people expected me to fail (I was actually told that at BTI my first yr but that's a WHOLE other story).

I went through a phase for about 2 years where I didn't want my dad to be my pastor and my pastor to be my dad. I wanted to move and transfer churches. It was at that time I was dealing with my calling- I wanted to talk to my pastor but didn't want to talk to my dad. In my head they were one in the same. I could never transfer to another church- that would hurt my dad so much and I did get through my confusion and accepted my calling to teach. I'm thankful now that Dad and I are at a point where I feel I can talk to him as my pastor and talk church. Trust me we've done lots of that this past year. I can also go to him as my dad- I've finally separated the two in my head that I am able to do that. I've learned to be okay with people looking in - some will like me and some won't . Lord, let those who see me see You.

So I figure the title is fitting considering a blog is basically publicly allowing people to look in on your personal life- or your fish bowl.

in other news- there is no other news- its the same old same old- still packing and cleaning. Though I got to do the fun packing last night- assembly packing. I did a little fashion show for mom and she helped me modify my outfits a bit and I'm happy that I really will only be repeating 1 outfit that I wore at BTI. Joleesa did the same a couple nights ago and it man has she grown up. From what she was trying on she's gotten so pretty and lady like- ok just pretty...Joleesa is a tom boy... We all went through that phase and Joleesa has just stayed there longer.

Well that's about all- I am tempted to name the fishes. It's fish I don't have to worry about killing :) (I've had many fish and none of them lasted very long)