The Stress Has Begun

Its not the pull your hair out, frantic, hectic type of stress. Its the under pressure type of stress and I'm learning thats a more exhausting type of stress. It seems to play on your emotions more too or it could just be me.

Through it all though I feel I shouldn't complain about it. There is something I haven't blogged about and for such a selfish reason... I had so much to blog about that was up beat, happy and fun. Last Monday my lunch break was frantically interrupted by one of my co-workers saying I needed to come back to the office a meeting was called. I reminded her that I was on my lunch. What she relayed to me next seemed to come out in slow motion and hit me in the gut. She informed me my assistant manager's husband had shot himself and that I need to come back to the office. We rushed down two flights of stairs praying all the way- Lord be with Kim, Lord be with their kids, Lord give me words to say.

I walked in on my boss and several others sobbing, barely getting the details of what had taken place. I stood in shock wondering how someone could, why someone would take their own life- how they could leave a wife and 3 kids (17,11, and 7) behind during the holidays. Management left the meeting but the rest of us kind of just sat there. Some speaking of how in shock they were and then it seemed in the silence like they were looking to me to say something... I knew what they wanted me to say... "He's in a better place" "he's at peace right now" ... I couldn't... I prayed for the words to say... I refused in my head to say anything unless I knew it was from the Lord. I think what I did say gave something more peaceful to think on and dwell on and turned their thoughts toward praying for Kim.


I got to go out with 3 other girls from work to visit Kim and bring her a huge meal prepared by several of the staff. I got to meet her husbands parents who are wonderfully sweet people and by the time I left I was confident they are Christians. I don't know what Kim believes but I know there are lots of people praying for her and those kids. Oh those precious boys- Justin is 17 and about to graduate, Clayton is 11 and Ryan is 7- now with out a father. My heart breaks for them. They've been in my prayers sense Monday and won't be leaving anytime soon.

Amie my boss has taken on so much of Kim's job that even though I'm in the first week of the month which is my stress week I pulled a good chuck of work from her. She looks like she is past the point of over load and I wish I could do more but there is no point over loading myself this week that I join her in almost crashing next week. I'm praying someone else steps up and helps but it seems like I get to be the example that no one follows after...again.

Needless to say its been a rough week (last week) but its been an even worse two days. I've not been in a bad mood but I feel tired and drained. To add to it its freezing cold. It seems like for the life of me I can't get acclimated but then who ever does to this bitter cold weather.

I did have pictures to share with you but I can't seem to find my camera cord. After decorating mom and dads place on Sunday it seems to be missing from the coffee table- mom probably put it somewhere and chances are she won't remember :-P

I had pictures of their tree to show you - its the very perfect picture of a family tree I love it. They're house just seems more cozy the way they have it decorated this year. I love it.

I also have pictures of the hotel decorated. Lavish doesn't begin to describe it- they bring a whole new meaning to deck the halls. Its not over done but it is beautifully elegant...Alaskan style. The coolest thing a huge gingerbread village that is by the 4th Ave. entrance it is the coolest thing I've ever seen. I'll have all that to show in in time.

I leave with a prayer request I should have requested a week ago. Please pray for Kim and her 3 boys. As well as for John and Marla (Kim's father and mother-in-law) The funeral is over with and now to the hard part finding out how to live without the one you loved so much.