Change is Fun and Terrifing

Up until Saturday this is the way one would normally see me- well not really 90% of the time this is the way it starts and then with in an hour its up in a pony tail.

If you saw me at the Assembly this is truly the way you saw me EVERY DAY. I was so proud of myself I can't remember pulling my hair up once but that doesn't mean I didn't do but I tried really hard not to anyway.

Mom and I had hair appointments on Saturday. Mom went in to get a perm and I went in to get my hair trimmed and layers shaped as I'm growing my hair out. They lady wanted to do highlights so bad - her first comment was " Oh your hair is perfect to do beautiful highlights and oh oh it would cover up that grey beautifully." Did she think by adding beautiful to her push that I'd be talked into it. Naw don't think so! As I was explaining what I wanted for a hair cut I told her I wanted body to my hair- she convinced me to do a body perm. I figured if it didn't work I could still wear a ponytail :-P If it did work I would have something new. I still have to pull back my bang as I'm growing them back out and I haven't tried to figure out how to style it any other way yet.

On Sunday ironically Mom, Jo, and I all matched so we got a picture together. I've had those slightly freak at it telling me that they loved my straight hair but others really liked the new curly look. Its a change- I personally like it- its fun.

If you're still reading (or if you were just looking at the pictures :-P) This is something that is a bit embarrassing for me to share (not the funny embarrassing either) because no one truly understands the fear that is involved or they feel they have a right to voice the solution to the problem but all and all I need prayer as I make a terrifying change in my life- conquering a fear. Most teenagers are so very eager at the age of 15 1/2 to get behind a wheel a get cruising. NOT ME. I'm not normal but I didn't need to tell you that :-D Mom and Dad have never forced me to do anything- this being one of them. It got easier and easier to put it off. It wasn't until I actually got behind the wheel the first time with Dad that I realized that it wasn't procrastination but sheer and utter fear. The only thing I can think of that has generated this kind of fear is from being in several severe car accidents. Put me on a 4wheeler and I'm fearless, or even behind the wheel on back country roads and I gain some confidence but the second a car comes in the other direction I get to shaking and if I don't have a calm, patient person in the passenger seat I nearly have a panic attack.

Getting to the point. Sense moving here not only are mom and dad getting frustrated but I am as well at trying to make me not driving work. I have a beautiful apartment that I would love to spend more time at. After a bit of an argument and I promised Mom and Dad that I would have my license and a car by the end of November. Oh Boy! Its almost October and I've barely inquired about what I would need to do. I finally inquired about it and found a place that will give personal lessons- that way my friendship stay in tack and my family still love me. Its going to cost a bit more then I expected (everything costs more then expected up here lol) but its what I need to do. Just in calling I found myself shaking. The lady eased my embarrassment as she shared that most people that take their courses are over the age of 21 but that doesn't settle my fears. So after Ministers Convention I'll be facing the biggest fear and frustration in my life- I desire your prayers as its something I not only need to do but really want to as well.

The car part will be the exciting reward- hopefully but I need to get through the first part. Hopefully next week I'll get down to the DMV and get my 3rd drivers permit - thats right 3rd- actually it maybe 4th- i can't remember.

Okay now that I've spilt my fears all over the place and this blog has gotten rather long with a lack of pictures I'll bring this to an end.

I hope ya'll have a great week- Love Ya!